I chose to journal about a very tough day full with mixed emotions. I decided that the long journey returning to England after being away from family and friends for six months would be the perfect day to reflect upon. I actually had no idea how I was going to be feeling and what direction my mood would be in which made the task more interesting. After the day was completed I brainstormed all my emotions and came up with one word after reflecting on the day- LOST
Journey part 1 - Walking away from the ship (in Singapore) I felt free with butterflies in my stomach. I was thinking that this is it, I have completed the (what I like to call it) prison sentence. I kept thinking about the new cast arriving and somebody else sleeping in my bed which made me feel a little uneasy. I noticed that some people found it awkward to say goodbye whilst others were very larger-than-life.
Journey part 2- At the airport I seriously had the giggles which I am convinced was to shadow how tense I was truly feeling. I was acting very silly and one of the main events was going into duty free and trying out every face cream on my face (don’t worry it was a tester).
Journey part 3- On the 14 hour plane trip I sat between my two close friends who had completed the adventurous contract which waged war on our emotions. I decided to write about this part of the journey from the perspective of one of my friends. She was very quiet and composed which is extremely out of character. She kept looking out of the window and when I asked her what she was thinking she said she felt no emotion and almost empty inside.
Journey part 4- When I returned to Heathrow airport my long term boyfriend was waiting in the arrival lounge and I felt a wave of tears run though my body. It’s strange as I didn’t know my body and mind would react like that. I was very surprised with myself as normally I don’t cry that often and I’m still not even sure why I responded like that. “ It is through the sensuous world of the body, though the eyes , ears, skin, muscles, and organs that we see, feel and respond to all that happens” (Tufnell and Crickmay,2004).
Journey part 5- In the car I was very quiet as I felt peculiar inside. Almost like I didn’t really belong anywhere which made me feel uncomfortable.I kept getting phone calls from friends and I struggled to speak as I felt apprehensive and not myself. “In the rush and pressure of our everyday lives we easily become numbed and cut off from our bodies” (Tufnell and Crickmay,2004). I tried to make sense of what I was feeling and I believe it is only natural to feel misplaced and anxious as I hadn’t seen my boyfriend, friends, family and English weather for 6 months!
After having done this exercise I learnt a lot due to reflecting on my day. I was counting down days to return home and I thought I would be in a state of ecstasy however I have learnt that change makes me feel perturbed.
References- Tufnell and Crickmay,2004- Reflective Practices Reader-2010/11-http://libguides.mdx.ac.uk/data/files4/133687/Reflective%20Practices%20Reader.pdf- Accessed 11/11/10
